How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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