White coat. Heels.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
