Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
