idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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