M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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