Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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