and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
