I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
