just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
