I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
