He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
