Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
