dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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