i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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