Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My breasts were aching with rage.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
