haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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