Porn is love you can see.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
