I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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