You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
