You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
