She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
