just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
