weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
