i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
