You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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