Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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