Nicole vs. Life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
