there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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