I want you more than these girls want KFC
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
