dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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