Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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