Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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