Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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