and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
