He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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