Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Text me some of your sweat
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
