also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
