Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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