I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
