So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Randomize
