then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
