i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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