Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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