and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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