I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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