Please, let me fuck your mom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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