My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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