question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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