Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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