he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
