OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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