dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
